Counting down to the exam season!! Can you believe that the exams are less than two months from now?
Thinking about Marley
How can you be there for a young person facing exams in May/June?
The months leading up to exams can be very difficult for the mental health of our young people. All sorts of thoughts and imaginations will be going through their heads around this time.
Some of these can be categorised as follows:
Regret : There is usually regret that they have not put maximum effort into the previous years to make sure they are better prepared for the coming exams. And these preparations could include asking for additional help in the form of a tutor or from school for subjects they are struggling with.
Fear : There is also fear that their grades will not reach the required mark for their next steps. This fear may distract them from focusing on studying as thoughts such as “why bother, its already too late takes a grip of them” or “it’s too late to catch up on years of work”. “You might as well do things that you enjoy instead of studying”.
Overwhelm : There is also the feeling of being overwhelmed, the task of studying and covering everything that might come in the exam can be tough. Where to start, what to give priority are decisions that can stop them from starting. Wondering if they have the capacity and ability to retain everything they study. Feeling anxious that they will not remember what they have studied.
When Marley was facing his GCSE’s in 2019, it was during this time that his anxiety increased. He lost focus and could not even do the assignments for his Art subject which was the subject that he loved. The more his mental health deteriorated the less he believed he could get the grades he needed to go to college and study animation.
As a mum who have had first hand experience with a young person with anxiety facing exams these are some of the tips to support them during this time.
Meals: Make sure they are eating well. Not binge eating but supporting them by providing the food that is wholesome and filling.
Rest: Ensure that they are getting good sleep. Encourage them to stay away from screens, mobile, laptops and tv so they can get to sleep easily.
Listen: Make time to listen to what they are saying but also to what they might be trying to say which they cannot put into words. Sometimes they may get upset at the slightest thing, try to get to the bottom of it. Don’t have these discussions when you are in a rush or whilst watching tv.
Be present: Be fully present. Sometimes our children copy the bad habits that we have, such as listening to them only with only "one ear" whilst watching tv or doing something else. Give them your undivided attention.
Encourage breaks from studying: They need a break from studying, encourage them to do something that takes their mind of their exams and studying. It may be something as small as going for a walk or watching a movie together.
Chores: Be flexible with chores. If they are not on top of their chores for example keeping their room tidy or emptying the dishwasher, be understanding and be open to renegotiate what they can do whilst they prepare for their exams.
Don’t set unrealistic expectations: Encourage them to push themselves but be realistic. If your young person has not had A’s in the last twelve months don’t put pressure on them to get A’s in their exams as this will put unnecessary pressure on them. If they have been getting B's then encourage to do their best to get Bs.
Seek outside help: If you are supporting them with all of the above and they are anxious, with low moods, mood swings, irritable, changing sleeping and eating patterns and negative about the exams and the future then seek professional help to support them. Don't wait for them to show all these symptoms to seek outside help, go with your instincts.
I hope these tips help you. If you have other tips to share why not put it in the comments. I would love to hear what you think.
You can also read more about Marley by getting Marley's Memoir and Living Without Marley from Amazon by clicking on the image below.
