It is normal to have some anxiety. In this edition of Majendi’s Mental Moments, I want to put the spotlight on anxiety in particular the last twelve months.

Pink Lilies

According to the charity “MIND”, Anxiety is what we feel when we are worried, tense or afraid – particularly about things that are about to happen, or which we think could happen in the future.

According to NHS, Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) is a common mental health condition where you often feel very anxious about lots of different things.

I want to talk about anxiety that I have felt when I am worried, tense or fearful. This type of anxiety is normal as most people feel a bit anxious when they have to do something new, go somewhere they have not been before or meet people they have not met before.

As a child I was very shy and very introverted. Yes I was, it may be hard to believe for those who have seen me in the spotlight and even now as an adult I can be introverted in some environment. I do not yearn or crave the spotlight. My preference would be, to be in the background and blend in.

The last three or four years, I believe God has been bringing me to the forefront to use me in a way I did not imagine or think about. I have resisted for too long but I am now in that place where I want to be obedient and listen to what God is saying to me. I want to be able to fulfill my purpose in this world. Believe it or not we are all in this world for a purpose and when you are fulfilling your purpose you definitely find your happy place.

For me being obedient and moving to the forefront has caused me anxiety. More recently I innocently started motivating my school mates who had attended the same primary school with me for a good cause not knowing that I would be chosen to lead a host of reunion events.

I remember the meeting so well when as the chair of the meeting the first thing I put on the agenda was choosing a leader to lead the planning of the events. I saw this as an opportunity for me to move from the front and blend in the background. At the time there were ten of us including me in the group and I was thinking that someone else more experienced in doing this will step forward. Nope, they all unanimously chose me, the one with no experience of this sort of event, never attended any of the alumni events in the past in my community was now the leader of a global reunion. I definitely felt anxious. Even though there were nine others at the time which later became eleven others as two others were added to the team at a later date, I felt this weight on my shoulders. I felt this ebb and flow of anxiety over me.

Firstly, the reunion for this particular alumni had never been hosted in the UK before so it had to make an good impression as it was the first one. Secondly, it was not one event but a whole weekend of events, starting on the Friday with a meet and greet followed by a dinner and dance and then a thanksgiving service on the Sunday. Lastly I live about one and a half hour away by car from any of the venues in which the events would be held. Just thinking about it was causing accelerated heart beats and perspiration.

The last twelve months have not been smooth, it has been bumpy with moments of asking myself why did I agree to do this, why did I not say no when I was asked. I have had moments of fear and anxiety when people did not do what they had said they would do, when one of the venues we had booked was no longer available, when the ticket sales for the dinner and dance were slow, when there was a misunderstanding with one of the caterers for the event, when people said things that were not nice, when people did not respond or keep to their promise. All through out these periods of anxiety I have learnt that God was with me all through out and turned the problems to work out for good.

It is normal to have some anxiety about new things, because doing something new are common triggers of anxieties but when you get anxious about the normal things, everyday life activities, like going out to work, doing the normal things then you need to get some professional help.

I would like to hear about your anxious moments, reach out to me by email Majendi.j@gmail.com