What are your Bittersweet Moments this summer?

Majendi at the Natural History Museum

Bittersweet moments when you need to enjoy yourself but at the same time you need to embrace the sad parts.

 Summertime is supposed to be the time of the year when you enjoy carefree days, warm weather and hang out with friends and family in the garden or in the park creating precious memories. It’s a time to go on vacation to far and near places, exotic or familiar places exploring and taking lots of photos for the memory bank.

Three years ago, it was the first summer without Marley. Covid was still around. We had not ventured out yet and we had not even taken out the barbecue as we usually did the previous years. It was hard to do these things for the first time without Marley. These would be new memories without Marley. How could we do this?  Sometimes you feel as if you are betraying him by doing things that are fun when he can not be part of it.

I am glad I was able to convince my husband and son to go away even if it was just for one night, it would make a difference. It was a change of scenery. It was important for us not to get stuck in the past when there were four of us. At the same time, you had to take it slow so that you don’t relapse, meaning that you don’t get to be so sad because there is someone missing that you don’t venture out again for a long time. Someone recently asked me how am I doing? I was really touched because it had been a while since someone asked that question.

We went away and it was strange at first that it was only the three of us in the car on this long journey. Of course, we had gone out as a threesome but only on short journeys. This was a two-hour trip and we were going to the zoo, a fun place to create new memories but also sad because Marley would not be with us. We were better for doing it. When we got back after the overnight trip we felt better for it.

Another bittersweet moment that summer was getting the barbecue out. Throwing some sausages and burgers on it for just the three of us was a bit strange at first. I remember when the sausages were done I had made the trip to Marley’s room just to retrace the steps I would have done if he was here. I went to his bedroom window and looked out whilst talking to him as if he could hear me. I knew of course that he could not hear me and that he was not there but it was part of the bittersweet moments for me to do that. It really helped me. When I got back downstairs I could sing and dance and eat my sausages because I had in a way included Marley in this moment though he was no longer here.

Finally, summertime is usually the time for the release of the latest children’s movies. The latest release of Shrek 5 brings back bittersweet memories.  The excitement of getting the tickets and the popcorn and drinks on the day. The excitement on the children’s faces on the way to the cinema and during the movie. As a parent it is really rewarding. I long for those days gone by when there was nothing to worry about. The children would be talking about the movie all the way home and beyond. They would recap their favourite scenes and we would be filled with joy all over again.

Yes summertime can be bittersweet for those of us who have lost loved ones. It does get better if we allow ourselves to take steps forward but continue to cherish the good times we had with them.

Majendi can't believe she is flying on a butterfly

I hope you feel encouraged by this short blog post. I also had the pleasure of taking a trip to the Natural History Museum. I had never been and it was also another bittersweet moment as I thought it would have made a lovely fun trip with the children when they were younger. I would end by saying enjoy every moment this summer because tomorrow is not guaranteed.